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Interesting News
- Man slips out of handcuffs and jumps into river to escape officers. Because you’re reading this, you can safely assume that the guy didn’t swim to Monte Carlo and start a prosperous new life [Dumbass]
- Organist plays Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” on a college’s historic, 110-foot-high bell tower. “Last semester I played (Hanson’s) ‘MMMBop’ – that was so much fun” [Amusing]
- TSG’s Friday photo fun: What job did these criminals have before they decided to pose for this contest? Contest ends at 6pm Eastern [Amusing]
- Multitasking Domino’s Pizza employee makes pizzas and uses stolen debit card information to make phone sex calls simultaneously. Apparently, this is wrong [Dumbass]
- Washington and Baltimore have the nation’s worst drivers, followed closely by various cities in New Jersey, New Jersey, New Jersey, New Jersey, and New Jersey [Obvious]
- Magistrate decrees logodaedaelian hoosegow cageling may retain his thesaurus. You presented this typescript with a more frumptuous epigraph [Strange]
- Atlanta police and MARTA are prepared for the massive crowds this weekend. I’m looking at you Atlanta Fark partiers [Interesting]
- Sharron Angle would not have voted to give New Orleans relief funds after Hurricane Katrina because government needs to learn to live within its means [Asinine]
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